By Susan Smith
Anger is a God-given emotion, just like every other emotion. We need it to identify and respond to a wide range of feelings, especially when something wrong, hurtful, unwarranted, unjust, unthinkable, evil, or criminal has happened. Feeling anger is not wrong. It's how we respond to it, and how we express and release that anger could be. Maybe you grew up watching someone with an anger issue and who set a horrible example. If so, just know that you aren't that person. You are you. And you are free to decide how you will deal with anger when it happens in your life. Jesus felt righteous anger. He understands and He has quite a bit to say about it. To start with, in Ephesians 4:26, Jesus tells us "In your anger do not sin". This helps us understand that we can have the FEELING of anger without the corresponding ACTIONS or BEHAVIORS that are wrong.
Whatever has happened that caused the anger in the first place is hard enough to deal with. Don't add more fuel to the fire, don't make things harder by saying or doing something that will hurt others or yourself or get you into trouble. We each know ourselves. We know our triggers and we know our tempers. We know what pushes our buttons. And we typically have pre-set or built-in ways we immediately go to without even thinking, such as fight or flight. The Lord is trying to protect us from actions, attitudes, or behaviors that will land us in trouble. He is trying to protect our hearts and minds. He knows that doing something wrong will just complicate the pain even more. Handling the emotion of anger wrong rarely goes well and it can keep us sidetracked for a long time.
Anger managed wrong is a bit like velcro inside our hearts. More anger and offenses and annoyances will stick to it and in enough time, our hearts can get hardened and bitter and clogged, with little room for anything good. None of us are perfect. If you are looking for perfect on this side of the clouds you're not going to find it. We've all said or done something we regret, or have had instances where we could have handled things better. We've all had days where we weren't our best selves. Next time you feel anger rising up, even righteous anger - things that make God angry too, try to remember that you are not alone. What I mean is that God sees, He hears and He Knows. He saw what just happened. He's well aware. He feels your pain and will guide you through this, if we will let Him. So take a breath, excuse yourself if you can, and send up a quick SOS to ask the Lord to help you and give you some wisdom on what to do or not do. We don't need to overthink it.
Jesus had one with a really quick anger response on his team - that would be Peter. In the gospel of John 18:10, Peter trying to protect Jesus from being arrested got angry, pulled his sword and cut off the right ear of the high priest's servant Malchus. (Personally, I've always thought that Peter was going for his neck and missed. After all, he was a fisherman and not a soldier familiar with using a sword.) This angry action of maiming someone, especially an employee of the high priest could have landed Peter in jail for years, thwarting God's purpose for his future. We see the rest of the story recorded in Luke 22:51. Jesus stepped in, touched the servants' ear and healed him. I find it interesting that while they were coming to arrest Jesus and kill Him, in His love and mercy He performed one more miracle, but in their anger, the religious leaders of the day missed an opportunity to see that He was exactly who He claimed to be. Even in His hour of trial, Jesus didn't resort to anger. Nope. Instead, He had mercy on the bleeding servant who probably had no choice in being there, and He also had mercy on Peter in keeping him out of legal trouble. And He had mercy for us, in setting the right example. We don't have to take the bait of anger.
It's also worth noting that when Jesus handpicked his ministry team, He already knew all about Peter's quick anger, and his disposition to have a temper. Yet Jesus didn't let that disqualify Peter. Instead, He worked with him, let him grow and mature and develop and become conformed into Jesus' image, just as we are supposed to be. Jesus knew Peters heart and He knows ours too. If you're dealing with anger, the Lord knows the root. Most people tend to look at the external behavior, the "what" you are doing. Jesus see's the inner, the "why" you are doing it. Proverbs 19 says not to rescue an angry person because you will only have to rescue them again and again. Because the anger hasn't changed. So they will keep getting into trouble. Until things change on the inside. You can trust Jesus with helping you identify the real reason you are so angry. And He will help you release it in a way that isn't destructive. If you are serious about getting free, He's the one to do it. He came to set the captives free. If your heart is captive to anger or rage, just know that help is there when you are ready for it.
Practical help with anger:
1) Slow your roll:
"Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. Because human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires". James 1: 19-20
When you feel anger building, just hit the pause button before you speak (before you respond), and s-l-o-w down before immediately jumping off into anger or rage. Change your channel. Blowing up, losing it, and mismanaging anger isn't what God is looking for in His children. Remember - zero to ninety in 10 seconds flat really only works for Nascar.
2) Try to ignore it:
"Fools show their annoyance immediately, but the wise overlook an insult". Proverbs 12:16. Pretend you didn't hear it, or that you don't care. We don't have to respond to everything that is said to us.
3) Don't make a fool of yourself:
"A quick tempered person does foolish things". Proverbs 14:17
4) Don't lose control:
"A man of great anger will bear the penalty for his quick temper and lack of self-control". Proverbs 19:19
5) When injustice continues, let God handle it on your behalf:
"Do not take revenge yourself but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written "It is mine to avenge. I will repay says the Lord". Romans 12:19
Jesus sees the best in us. He wants the best for us. So don't let anger pull your life off course. Jesus wouldn't have told us "in your anger do not sin" if it wasn't humanly possible to pull that off. If that's you, just take the first step by making a quality decision to work on it. If you are committed to following Jesus's teaching, He will be faithful to help you, you will get the victory. People will see the difference in you, but most importantly, you will be free, lighter, happier, and will enjoy your life again.